Bottled Up Feelings · Poetry Corner

What Change, Exactly?

You said, you are happy to see the change,

Now that I am talking about something other than my passion,

Was I boring you back then?

*

Sorry I failed to notice.

Like today, you failed to notice my agony…in my words.

*

There was a change of topic, no doubt.

Instead of passion and proficiency,

I was pouring my heart out about my restless mind.

And you said, you were happy to see the change!

*

What change, exactly?

You telling me you happy to see my soul on pins!

You saying, you are glad to see me in spin!

***

Sometimes, people say the weirdest things, and leave you speechless.

I wrote this a while back, when I was going through a rough patch in my life. The person didn’t mean any harm, I know that for sure. But, back then when I was barely holding on to my sanity, hearing this line broke me. So, yeah I poured out my heart like this.

The main reason I am sharing this, is to make people mindful of the fact that how casually we throw words around. Especially, when someone is pouring their heart out in front of you, be a little……gentle. Don’t say anything, if you don’t know what to say. Though a little understanding is not that difficult. Is it?

Others · Poetry Corner

Reality of Human Beings

When a baby comes into this world,

He sees colors,

He tries to explore,

He seeks answers,

He desires to see more,

He wants to soar.

*

But what can a baby do,

When he is called back,

Back to his creator,

Nothing, nothing at all,

Because that’s the reality of human beings.

*

When a child grows up to be in his teens,

He starts to see things from a different angle.

It is a whole new world for him,

And he wants to live it to the fullest.

*

But what can a teen do,

When he is called back,

Back to his creator,

Nothing, nothing at all,

Because that’s the reality of human beings.

*

When the boy turns into a man, 

Though he had seen a lot,

Yet, he doesn’t want it to be over.

He wants to be there for his family,

He wants to see his children soar.

*

But what can a man do, 

When he is called back,

Back to his creator,

Nothing, nothing at all,

Because that’s the reality of human beings…

A bitter truth, that we all have to face one day.

Ponderings & Musings

May I Have Your Attention?

Okay, where should I begin?

This ‘thing’ has been around for a long time, but now I can’t restrict myself anymore. I watch movies, and tv shows too. And yes, I watch them with full involvement (if they are worth it 😉). I get attached to the characters too, and if there is any tragedy, believe me! I cry my eyes out.

But this shipping thing? :/

There are other relationships too, why everything has to be romantic, or sexual. Especially, when there is no indication of it in the movies/tv shows. Let me tell you about some of those other relationships:

  • Friendship.
  • Brotherhood.
  • Sisterhood.
  • Familyhood.

What is wrong with accepting the characters in those relations? Those are such beautiful, and cherishable relationships. It’s like, nowadays, these pure relationships don’t mean anything. Everything have to be……sexual. :/

I recently watched ‘Maze Runner series’…. again. Great series. And the characters, well, they really have a good chemistry, on and off stage, that probably helped them to work so well with each other. Also, of course they are amazing actors, and actresses. That should have come first😉.

Anyway, this time I had the chance to view the interviews, and surf about other stuff, other than just watch the movie. The cast have such an amazing bond with each other. When I look at them, I see relationships like, friendship, and brotherhood. I guess, my mind doesn’t go beyond than that. Thank God! 😉

But it does make things awkward, with all those shipping videos splashed across the internet. There were some comments and videos, that I came across, while I was surfing the internet, and seriously they made me cringed. Especially the ones about Thomas and Dylan. I think all of them were about those two. Puff! The actors probably used to all that kind of stuff, and are warned what to expect, when they stepped into this world.

Still, come on! Nobody sees the friendship, and brotherhood that is depicted in the series. And if you saw that, why it is so hard to accept it in real life. They are like brothers, they are friends, don’t make it awkward.

Then there was a tv series, ‘Once Upon a Time’. Interesting concept, catchy plot, talented actors, and definitely worth watching, well up until the last season. They lost me at the last season. There was a lot of shipping there too. But a lot of those people were presented as couples in the series as well. Like ‘Snow White and Prince Charming’ (I loved their connection as well). And they also turned out to be a real couple in real life. Cool, right?

Still, there were some inappropriate shippings, as well. I am not going to go in detail there.

The point is that, promote and cherish relations like friendships, brotherhood, and sisterhood. Even more so, when they are right in front of you. One should not see everything with one perspective only.

I made a collage of some of my favorite casts. I adore their friendships. May they always stay cheery and blessed.

I don’t own the pictures.

That’s all for now. Do ponder over it. Thank you for reading.

Wellness & Self-Care

Prioritize Your Peace

Self-care, quite a common topic, you probably heard and read about it a lot. And why not? One should not feel guilty about prioritizing their peace, but I got to say, it is also one of the most difficult things to do as well. Don’t you think? Only me? Really? :/

Okay. Picture this and answer: after being done with the housework, OR after coming home, super tired from your job, OR after hustling all day long, will you still have the energy to work for yourself, even it is for your own ‘self-care’?

Huh?

Therefore, my answer is: self-care doesn’t have to be something grand. Not always. Once a while, it seems nice, but on regular basis, it’s not practical. Also, who got time for this. I know I don’t. Go for little, peaceful things. It’s for your upkeep, whatever makes you comfortable, even if it’s a good long sleep.

I will share some of my self-care activities with you fellows. There is no sequence, or routine to them. On different days, whatever I feel might soothe my soul, I take it.

  • Get a few hours of peaceful sleep. (If possible)
  • Get a quick shower. (If you feeling lethargic, a quick shower is enough to freshen you up. No need to waste water 😊)
  • Read a book. (If it turns out to be a good one, then big bonus for me. Know what I mean?)
  • Watch a good movie.
  • Do something artistic. (Really lights up my soul)
  • Pour out my heart on a paper. (Sometimes it turns out to be a masterpiece, sometimes I just throw it out. Either way, it does help me in easing my heavy soul)
  • Go out for a little walk. (Calms down or excites my soul, depends on what kind of music I am listening to 😉)
  • Photography-mostly nature, babies, animals, and inanimate things. (Somethings are just so beautiful and innocent, that if you didn’t click right there and then, they will be lost forever)
  • Declutter. (Calms down my soul)

They might not seem much, but like I mentioned above, self-care doesn’t have to be grand. And also remember, self-care activities differ from person to person. If one thing works for me, doesn’t mean it will also work for you, and vice versa. Though, trying out new things is a good thing, as long as they are soothing. And if you don’t mind sharing some of your self-care activities, I would like to try out some new things as well. 😊

Take care, stay safe, and don’t forget to keep balance between your pace, energy, activity, calmness and enjoyment.

Bottled Up Feelings · Poetry Corner

Just a Dream…

You were standing there, right in front of me,

Smiling that sweet smile of yours.

*

My mind said, “Not possible”.

My heart screamed, “Embrace it.”

*

I ran and hugged you tight.

It felt so real, so comfy.

*

Thought I will never let go,

But then my eyes opened.

*

I sat up,

Ran my eyes around the room,

Searching for you.

*

How can it be?

Same room, same me

But no you.

*

Then the reality hit me…hard,

A tear rolled down.

*

It was just a dream……

I had several dreams like these, when the wound was fresh, when I wasn’t ready to accept the reality, but now I have. I still miss my father though, but after all its the ‘reality of life’.

Remember those who have departed us, and cherish those who are still among us. Stay safe, everyone.

Photo by Илья Мельниченко on Unsplash
Poetry Corner · Motivational & Inspiring

Not A Loser!

Born in a semi-arid city,

January 9th,

She made it into this world.

*

She has been a trouble since the day she got here,

And she will be one ’till the day she disappears.

*

Out in the world, she exists as if she does not exist at all.

In her little world, she messes around a lot, and strives to make a difference at the same time.

*

Will she ever make a name?

Name of her own?

Name she will be proud to hold on?

*

Let’s keep the fingers crossed.

*

She might make it to the top,

While the people are still considering her far, far behind.

*

Because,

No one’s a loser.

*

She might not be the best,

But she will neither be the least.

Let’s see.

Photo by Yulia Polyakova from Pexels
Ponderings & Musings

Understanding is What Matters

Sometimes people who don’t talk much about the reason behind their stressed faces, the hollow look in their eyes; they are going through a lot.

It is not easy for everyone to express themselves. You don’t always have to know ‘what happened’. Sometimes a simple understanding is enough. You can finish it off with a big, warm, hug. It helps. 😊

Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash
Ponderings & Musings

Hold Your Judgements!

Do not jump to judge people, before you get to know them. Sometimes even when you think you know someone well enough, they can surprise you. So, get a grip on your opinions.

Give it a time, and only speak about your ‘judgements’, when it is necessary. Sometimes, your judgements, your negative opinions, are just talks to you, a means of passing time, but, they can leave deep marks on many minds.

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash
Ponderings & Musings

Some Moments are Like That…

There are some moments in life, which make you cry like they happened, the very moment. You feel the same level of pain, that you felt months, or even years ago, when they actually happened. Sometimes the emotions get a lot more intense than they were on that ‘actual day’. And you feel like you can never get over it.

Like, your big Graduation Day. When, for the first, you are going to get awarded as a holder of a gold medal. Its a big achievement for you. You have always been an average in your life (not that, it ever was an issue), but being a gold medalist is a big thing, especially, when you have always been an average. Right? You are super excited, you have made plans for the graduation day, and then your family decides to ruin it for you.

It might not seem much, but it was a big day for me, and I would have loved it, if they had taken it seriously. My family, they sat through the ceremony. Alhumdulillah! After the ceremony, I wanted to introduce them to my teachers, get some pictures taken with them, in the gown. I planned it all.

I got out of the hall, and searched the grounds……but they were gone. I went through mixed feelings for a while. I was angry, as my brother’s complaining words came back to me from the night before, “How long the ceremony will be? We will not stay long. Do I have to go?” and I was worried, at the same time, “Why they left like this? Hope things are okay? Hope ma’s health is okay?”

Anyway, after a while, I cooled myself down, sent a silent prayer their way, and tried to focus on making the most of the moment, with my friends and teachers.

When I went home, there they were: brother on his laptop, ma on her phone. This is how the conversation went:

“Are you okay? Why did you guys left so early?”

” We attended the ceremony.”

“But I wanted you to meet my teachers!”

“I met two of your teachers. They were proud of you.” Ma was referring to my MMOT teachers (which I was currently studying at that time). But, at Graduation Day, I was a BS(Hon)English student. So, I lost it.

“But those are my Montessori teachers! I wanted to introduce you to meet my English teachers!”

“Calm down! We got tired. So we left.” Oh, so simple, bro. The university had made little arrangements for parents. They could have stayed if they wanted to.

Well, I think, I had a disadvantage: our house was quite near to my university. So, yeah, it was calling to them. :/

“It was a big day for me! Almost every position holder’s parents were there, and I had nobody!”

Also there was another emptiness, that was bothering me. Parents were there. Father and mother. And my father had passed away. I was missing him so much that day…..Mixed emotions…..There was another girl, whose parents didn’t come at all, but, it was an agreed arrangement. Some family tragedy. Other than that, just me…

I remember how I fixed a smile, and went to meet my friends’ parents, and then it lead to meeting everyone’s parents and mingling with them. I might have been trying too hard to keep it together. Ha! 😉 But it was one heck of a day, packed with so many emotions: joy, sadness, overwhelmed, anger, confusion, frustration, triumph, annoyance, delight, rejection…..

Our conversation ended with me saying,

“Anyway, leave it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You just rest!” and I stormed out of the house.

This happened almost 7 years ago. We never talk about ‘it’. But yes reference to that ‘day’ comes from time to time. After all, its the only big achievement in my life 😦 . And nope, I still haven’t healed. Though, over time, I have learned to handle it better. Maybe, that is all that we can do.

Some moments are like that…

Photo by reshot
Bottled Up Feelings · Poetry Corner

Anonymous

You say, I am quite easy to read,

Because I am nothing but an open book.

If that’s so,

Then why do you keep getting me wrong?

*

You see only what I let you,

You only see the outside me,

The side, I show to the world.

The other, I keep under wraps.

*

There is a complexity inside,

How deep it goes,

Even I can’t tell.

Then how can you?

*

You think you know me so well.

Think again, pal.

I might be an open book,

But you aren’t just reading me right.

Photo by reshot